July 22nd -- Chemotherapy Day 5 (By Sarah, Rick's wife)

Today was the worst day so far. Our good friends Amy and Jason and their beautiful daughter Elizabeth stayed with us last night. Rick could not sleep last night, he felt very nauseous, and could not get comfortable. Today Amy and Jason took him to therapy while I took Hannah to school. Our friends are so wonderful. Jason and Brett hung out with Rick while he received treatment today. His treatments from the week have left Rick very nauseous, exhausted and lethargic so today they gave him a heavy duty nausea medicine with a sedative since he wasn't able to get much sleep last night.

After treatment today he came home and slept most of the day coming downstairs periodically. He's having a hard time getting comfortable trying to rest. It's so hard to see the person you love feeling so miserable. He did eat some today though, thankfully.

So I had a reality check today regarding the cancer. A good friend of mine's father lost his long battle with thyroid cancer last night. The reality hit me hard today what cancer can do.

We have been so blessed with the outpouring of support from our friends, family and neighbors. Our good friend Michele organized dinners for us for all of this week and next. It was so nice not having to worry about what dinner was going to be. We actually have a very packed fridge right now. It really has been overwhelming. I'm usually the person offering help to others so it has been difficult accepting it. Our great neighbor and friend, Hope, took Hannah for dinner and playtime the other night. It really couldn't have come at a better time. I really needed to just sit on the couch and not have to think about anything. I was so touched by her gesture. My good friend Laurie called today and told me that her and Ken (her husband) and some of our other friends Susan and Rob have arranged for a maid service. So generous and completely overwhelming! But I must say that is the hardest thing, keeping up with the house while trying to entertain the troops. And then when I do have five minutes the last thing I want to do is fold laundry. So I must send out a HUGE THANK YOU to all our friends for all of their help.

I like to think of myself as a strong person and today I started to crack. I think the stress of running a household, which includes two kids (one toddler, one breastfeeding baby), a dog and a sick husband has gotten to me. Hannah is being a typical two-year old and not listening to me and it always seems to happen when I'm breastfeeding and cannot do much about it which then makes me very mad so I start yelling. I really don't want to be a yeller. This is stressing me out. It doesn't even work but unfortunately it's my reaction. She just laughs at me, which is probably the right thing to do considering I'm yelling like a fool. I need to get a grip on that though, I feel terrible after a bad yelling spell. Well, gotta run, poor little Jack would like some attention.